| What a woman says... | What she really means. |
| You want. | You want. |
| It's your decision. | The correct decision should be obvious by now. |
| We need. | I want. |
| Do what you want. | You'll pay for this later. |
| We need to talk. | I need to complain. |
| Sure... go ahead. | I don't want you to. |
| I'm not upset | Of course I'm upset,you moron. |
| You're ... so manly | You need a shave and you sweat a lot. |
| You're certainly attentive tonight. | Is sex all you ever think about? |
| I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! |
I'm on my period. |
| Be romantic, turn out the lights. | I have flabby thighs. |
| This kitchen is so inconvenient. | I want a new house. |
| I want new curtains | and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... |
| I need wedding shoes | the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white |
| Hang the picture there | NO, I mean hang it there! |
| I heard a noise | I noticed you were almost asleep. |
| Do you love me? | I'm going to ask for something expensive. |
| How much do you love me? | I did something today you're really not going to like. |
| I'll be ready in a minute. | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. |
| Is my butt fat? | Tell me I'm beautiful. |
| You have to learn to communicate. | Just agree with me. |
| Are you listening to me!? | [Too late, your dead.] |
| Yes | No |
| No | No |
| Maybe | No |
| I'm sorry. | You'll be sorry. |
| Do you like this recipe? | It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it. |
| Was that the baby ? | Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. |
| I'm not yelling! | Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. |
| All we're going to buy is s soap dish. | It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGIOD there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? |
| The same old thing. | Nothing. |
| Nothing. | Everything. |
| Everything. | My PMS is acting up. |
| Nothing, really. | It's just that you're such an asshole. |
| I don't want to talk about it. | Go away, I'm still building up steam. |