Breakfast
1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice whole wheat toast...dry, and 8 oz skim
milk.
Lunch
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast, 1 cup steamed spinach, 1 cup
herb tea, and 1 Oreo cookie.
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of Oreo cookies in package, 2 pints Cookies-N-Cream ice
cream, 1 jar hot fudge sauce, nuts, cherries, and whipped cream.
Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese, large supreme pizza, 4 cans or
1 large pitcher of beer, and 3 Milky Way candy bars.
Late Evening News
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer.
RULES for DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the
candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you
don't eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot
chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because
they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of
one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior
Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking
causes calorie leakage. That holds true for any cakes. The
process of cutting causes the calories to leak out.
8. Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories, if
you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are
peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a
spoon making a sundae.
9. Certain foods have the same number of calories. Examples:
Spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.